Recently I was helping serve a breakfast at a local church. This particular church is needing volunteers the first Saturday of the month and I have a friend that also helps and is willing to pick me up and take me. So, there I was, spreading cream cheese on bagels all the while asking the people who came by the table if they wanted the bagels with cream cheese. And at one point I just sort of stopped and thought back to when I was homeless.
Now let me clarify. Although I was homeless at one point in my life, I was lucky enough to live with some friends. So, my situation was actually pretty wonderful compared to the people I was serving. The majority of these people live on the streets. The morning was compounded by the fact that it had rained during the early morning hours. Many of them were hungry and wet. And all of this – their plight, their struggle – caused me to ask myself, “Where would I be if I was in their situation?” I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be handling half as well as they all were. My depression would be in full bloom and I would probably have attempted suicide again, like I did before. I held a lot of respect for these people in need. I saw, with in them, a strength that I lack. And I honestly am not sure how to get that kind of strength.
It is said that strength comes from struggles. But how does one build the strength when the very struggle is too much to deal with? I am at a loss. If anyone who reads these blogs has a answer I would be very interested in what you might suggest. And that is where I leave this blog. Because I don’t know how I can gain such strength. And I have days where I fear that I will be in that position again. Until that time, I will continue to struggle and push forward as best I can. Blessings with you all. - David L.
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