HAIR CUTS, CLOSETS, AND LANGUAGE

I thought I was past this, I am not! This past week I went to get my hair cut. Since I have been living with my parents, I have been using their hair stylist. So, while my mom was getting a perm, I got a hair cut. That in itself isn’t the issue that I thought I had past. While I was talking and chatting with the stylist, she made a statement to me that sent me back into the closet. She said, “I am sure you will make a good husband to some woman someday.” And here I was, I was faced with either outing myself to my stylist (which really shouldn’t have been a big deal) or crawl back into the closet, which is what I did. My response was, “No, I was married once and my soul-mate died. I’m not going to marry anymore” What a coward I am!

But my cowardice is only part of the point of this BLOG. The other part lies in culture and language and how slanted language can be and still is. There are times when I am referring to someone on the police force and I still say “Policeman” instead of “police officer” There are times when I will use a seemingly innocuous term which, in the end, is very much pejorative and condemning. Our Language needs to change and we need to be the ones to do it, but if even I can’t seem to succeed at this task, how can I expect others to. It would have been proper to correct the Hair stylist and say that I would make someone a good partner someday, or that I am gay and I will make a gay man happy someday. But, my language and all my years of upbringing lead me to failure.

And so, I ask forgiveness of my culture, my subculture, my society, my identity group, and myself. And I ask for grace, yet again as I try to continue the process of coming out! Anyone want to help?