20100828.014 WHO AM I ANYWAY?

20100828.014 WHO AM I ANYWAY?

Hello all! As with many of my BLOGs, I have been writing this one in my head. And the time has come to finally commit it to the written word so that it can be solidified. The title comes from a song from the musical “A CHORUS LINE” and will make sense once I share with you the point of this particular BLOG. But first let me quote the words to this song. (Let me also note that if you search for (“chorus line who am i” on www.youtube.com you will find several versions and the melody is nice to listen to as well as the meaning of the words.)

Who am I anyway? Am I my resume? That is a picture of a person I don’t know. What does he want from me? Who should I try to be? So many faces all around that I don’t know. Now here we go. I hope I get this show.

The reasoning behind the title of this BLOG coming from this particular song is because I have been wrestling with the question, “WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE GAY?” You would think that once someone declares that they are gay, they should know what that is, but I am discovering more and more people who think they know the meaning of the term “GAY” and in reality have no clue. And that includes those who are “family.” Let me explain. Recently I received an email/message from a friend who made the claim, “As someone who has had more boyfriends than you, we can both agree that I can be pretty gay at times, right?” And this particular “friend” is correct, he has had more boyfriends than me. Of course, when you really think about it, I think Mother Theresa has had more boyfriends than me! But I digress. In actuality, my friend is bisexual and declares himself as such. The real point I want to make is that having sex with someone of the same gender doesn’t make you gay. In fact, to borrow from the joke that Dan Savage used in: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajR9PLvN73k “You build a thousand bridges and nobody calls you an engineer, but suck one cock, . . . [and you are gay]” From my view, the truth of the matter is that it takes more than just same gender sex to equate someone as being gay. I think that being gay includes, but is not limited to, the ways you think, the ways you feel, and the ways you experience life in all of its vast diversity. In fact, I would have to confess that there are thousands of ways, if not millions of ways, of defining “same gender” sexuality. And the myriad of gays in this world embody all of these defining characteristics to greater and lesser degrees.

And to redirect my “friend” should he be reading this, there are also millions of defining characteristics of what makes someone bisexual, which I think differs than what makes someone gay. Now, I will be the first to admit that I am neither a sociologist nor an anthropologist, and I have no credentials to validate this philosophy. But, speaking as one who defines them selves with the term of “GAY” I do think I have the right to at the very least put in two cents. What validation do I have? I have my own feelings, my own thoughts, my own experiences which are unique to me. And for that reason alone, I think I have the right to speak on such an issue. Of course, I would be glad for any comments you would want to leave me concern these views. Because, I also believe that understanding and belief comes from discourse with others! And so, to answer the question that the title poses, “WHO AM I ANYWAY?” I am ME! And that is saying QUITE A LOT! Blessings to you all - David L.

20100808 SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT . . .

20100808 SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT . . .

Recently I had a falling out with a couple of people. The falling out came about because of politics. Now, I know the cardinal rule of civil conversation, “never talk about religion or politics.” But, since I am a minister at heart, the talking religion went out the window long ago. Which means that politics would soon follow. Of course, I am not the first, nor will I be the last, to entwine these two shameful subjects together. It is said that shortly after Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell started dabbling in politics, the two, religion and politics, became inexorably linked forever. Although, I’m sure it happened long before Pat and Jerry came on the scene. At any rate, recently, the gay community was called to boycott Target and Bet Buy stores due to the fact that the CEO of Target gave a large sum of money to n anti-gay conservative political candidate in Minnesota. Soon after, the conservative fought back with claims of this being a smear tactic because the liberal candidate’s money was funding the people calling for the boycott.

I come into the picture when a “friend” on FACEBOOK posted information about the boycott, and another “friend” posted the conservative opinion of the smear campaign. I then posted something in response to the fact that although the boycott may be the result of a smear campaign, the outing of the smear campaign holds just as much of a political agenda behind it as does the boycott. And, when those people who are being duped by the political right will leave the political right, I will gladly leave the political left that has duped me as well. Until that time happens, I shall remain duped by the political left. Here is where the falling out came into play. The “friend” who posted the story that the boycott was all a political smear, apparently felt my response was a personal attack. The “friend” who had begun the post with the boycott announcement also saw it as a personal attack. I must admit, I still don’t understand why since no where in my response did I ever state my “friend’s” name or claim that my “friend” was evil, wicked, bad, dumb, stupid, or anything like that. And I wish I could quote my words exactly but the “friend” who began the post deleted my response. Therefore, doing two things, 1) leaving me in the dark as to what I actually said, and 2) giving the appearance that I was totally off base and should never have posted anything.

Since all of this happened, I sent both of them a message of apology, though I’m not sure exactly what I said to warrant an apology since my post was deleted and I am, therefore, arguing from a blind stand point - something which I do not like to do. I have been called high school-ish (childish) since I keep pointing out that my post was deleted. The point that I have tried to explain to no avail is that by deleting the post, one has, in essence, deleted a part of history which can never be recovered, and which, although we all know SOMETHING happened, we can’t really say exactly what! And, I strongly feel that we should never delete history! Furthermore, I feel a point of honor has been breached. First, by the fact that I was treated by the first poster as being ignorant and unable to figure out for myself what is happening in the political world, and second by the other for claiming that I was attacking the fist poster, and then in stating that I was being childish and I needed to grow up.

So, do I need to grow up? Probably, but it isn’t the responsibility of the “friend” to state that. Am I being duped by a political faction? Most assuredly, but I already noted that I realize this and will glad accept the consequences of being with that political group. What I would like and will probably never see is a true apology from the poster who deleted my response that they were wrong in deleting it. And a response from the other poster as to how they felt that I had attacked them to cause them to fly off the handle at my posting. I know that I will not see either. Hence that is why I have written this diatribe. It has helped me state the facts as I see them and to, at the very least, let my part of the story be told. At the most, it has given me a sense of vindication because I set the record straight.

Of course, the sad part is that I really don’t want to talk to these two “friends” for quite some time and since I know they tend to be in the company of other friends, I will probably have to stay out of their company as well. At least in stepping out of their presence, I won’t be getting into any major arguments that would lead me to making more enemies out of those once called friends.

Blessings - David L.