20200411.0002 HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED ...

20200411.0002 HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED …

So, As I mentioned in the last BLOG Post, I have moved out of my daughter’s house. And I have moved in with some friends who are very caring and kind. Some people may ask why I moved out and it is a rather long story in and of itself, but This blog isn’t about the story why as much as it is about the end result.

As many of you may remember, I have Major Depressive Disorder (or Major Clinical Depression). What this means for me is that I always need to be aware of how my surroundings are affecting me. For instance, stress in all of its myriad of ways will push me deeper into the depressive lows. And when that happens, I need to work extra hard at rising above it all. I do that through positive self-talk (mirror work), mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, and all f the other techniques I have learned since 2015 and my last emotional break. I won’t go into the happenings of my last living experience. But I will share the positives of my current experience.

#1 – Animals.

In this household, there are 3 four-legged children. Two of which are dogs who do not understand what a dog is. And one which is a cute little rat that I am in charge of feeding. The two dogs are really affectionate and loving and they help me thrive because they give me love in response to my love that I give them. They are truly remarkable and wonderful. They are both about as large as me (ok, that isn’t really true, but they seem as large as me to my own personal view) and they make quite a lap full when it comes to the climbing in the lap. The rat, Buddy, is adorable in his own right. But I don’t take him out and play with him like I should. And he isn’t really eating like I think he should, but I don’t want to overfeed him. He really is very cute!

#2 – People.

The people in the household are nothing like the situation I left.  In the previous situation, I couldn’t voice my feelings without being told I was wrong. The people here are loving, caring, joking (Yes! I believe they are joking when they tell me something that is contradictory to their actions!) and lucky for me they see the current state of affairs and situation much, in the same way, I am experiencing them. I don’t get the feeling I am condemned for breathing air! (Yes! I felt that way in the previous situation) And I receive what I perceive as daily encouragement. All in all, it is a much better experience for me.

#3 – Choices.

I felt there needed to be a third item and I didn’t want to do location even though that would be valid. But I feel I am making better choices in the long run. Both choices for my mental health and good sleeping and working choices.

Overall it is a great situation that I am in.  And I trust that my hosts will tell me if and when I have overstayed my welcome. Blessings to you and Happy Easter!

- David L.

20200404.0001 CORONA AND ISOLATION

20200404.0001 CORONA AND ISOLATION

Hello, people of the page. (I borrowed that from the FACEBOOK Page of Anne Rice, the author. I hope I am not breaking Copywrite law by using it here!) It has been far too long but as I have shared in many previous posts, there is no better time than the present to take a new step and start again. To anyone who is new to my BLOG I would encourage you to start at the beginning and read my posts as I have created them.  It isn’t that my posts build on each other, it is that there is a strong possibility that you may discover something new about me (for good or bad) and that may enlighten you as to who is this stranger that makes pretentious piddling!

So, to place this in a historical framework, we are in the throws of a pandemic currently. (The date being the 4^th of April, 2020) We are all dealing with the dangers of the COVID-19 (Novel Corona Virus). I have been very lucky and have not caught it yet. I say yet because I, being a person of doom and gloom, think it will attack far more people than even the scientists are aware of.  So, what does one do to stay safe? We self-isolate. And I am doing my share to isolate as much as possible. I have ventured out to the store a couple of times, and there have been the odd encounters here and there of friends who have either picked me up or have come by the house. But, in general, I am isolating. I do fear for my host. But before I explain that let me go back a ways and explain where I am now living.

I have been struggling for some time with the person who is my daughter’s partner.  He is a strong Trump supporter and therefore a strong supporter of everything that is wrong with the world in my mind. Well, my daughter and he brought home a puppy. It was a cute little guy and very innocent and loveable. And that loveable nature latched onto me. The partner found it somewhat disconcerting that the puppy would rather sit on my lap than go to his lap and so he told me to stop picking up the puppy. Fair enough. Until about a week later, I was leaving the house and the puppy was being scolded (but from the sound of it abused) because the puppy had nipped at my 3-year-old granddaughter. She had been tormenting the puppy and as with other animals that the family had received and then let go, she could do no wrong but the puppy was to blame. Well, the words that came out of the partner’s mouth were “If I catching you doing that again I am going to kill you!” And I believe he will do just that. I mentioned it to my daughter and asked her to watch the partner.  The Partner got upset and told me to mind my own business.

Move forward to the next week and the family was in the midst of moving because they had found a house for all of us. The two older granddaughters were outside talking about the move and the manager of the trailer park overheard them and said, “You realize that if you are moving without telling us, we will sue you for another month’s rent!” Well, my oldest granddaughter (if you remember I had three living with me at the time) Was terrified because she had called her mom and was afraid that she was going to get scolded. I didn’t know she had called her mom and so I texted her mom (my daughter) that her oldest daughter was frightened of the partner punishing her. A side note here, I have seen the partner spank and scold the children quite a lot and I have been concerned for that. At any rate, I was told when my daughter got home that she has given an ultimatum from the partner that either I go, or he goes.  Well, since she needs his money to pay for the house that they would start renting soon and to pay for the two cars that they are purchasing, then I realized that I needed to step forward and move out. I moved out that evening.  Since moving out my daughter has told me a different story that she was the one kicking me out because she couldn’t handle me because she thinks I am in the early stages of dementia.

So, that brings me to my current location. I am living with a family who happens to be friends with me and I don’t have to watch what I say about the current administration because they see things the same way I do. So, my isolation is actually quite pleasant.

Which brings me to a close of this post. Normally I have a question or a thought to bring me to a close, but I don’t this time.  I will just end by saying as I always do, Take care and blessings always!