YOU MOTHER PHEASANT PLUCKER!
I have been meaning to write another BLOG for sometime. And since I have basically missed two weeks, it is LONG past time for one. So here it is. However, where as my other past BLOGS all have a meaning or purpose associated with them. This one is simple a rant. Or rather it is a series of mini rants. Why? Because I want to and I think I have the right. So here goes.
1. HOW DARE YOU!
I absolutely detest people who feign “POOR ME” When in actuality they are the ones who are driving force behind me wanting to KILL MYSELF! Ass holes, all of them! One person in particular dares to claim (during worship no less) that they are “unworthy” (their exact words) to do a task. When, in actuality, they were pushing their own agenda and I felt attacked. So, I stopped them. Then, when they asked why I was upset, I told them. And their response is that they are so sorry to everyone who they have hurt and they are apparently “unworthy” What a bitch! They know what I said, I never said they were unworthy, I said that they had shown they can’t do the multiple tasks that they claimed they could.
2. SO WHAT ABOUT ME?
I realize when there are people who are uncomfortable around me. But sometimes, it isn’t about them. IT IS ABOUT ME! I haven’t had the money as of late to get acid reflux meds. So, I am having to deal with acid reflux. Also, the meds the doctor prescribed to get rid of my thrush, hasn’t helped. I have one more lozenge to take and I still feel like I have thrush! Couple this with the daily aches and pains that I feel, and hopefully you will understand that I feel like crap most of the time. Do I have some incurable disease that is dragging me down? No! But, just once, give me the credit that it isn’t about YOU! IT IS ABOUT ME! I realize that you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, but I do too! And I am faced with the fact that I can’t talk about everything happening to me just like you CLAIM that you can’t talk about what is happening to you. Well, enough is enough! This time I am claiming IT IS ABOUT ME! So deal with it!
3. MY LIFE IS HELL!
There are many of us in the same boat, I realize! I am living with my parents, because I feel that they need to be cared for. Besides, I am the one child who lives closest to them to do this. But do you have any idea how much stress they add to my life? Do you have any idea what it is like to deal with a mother who is more of a twelve year old than an eighty year old? And do you have any idea what it is like for everyone and their uncle to tell me that I am caring for my parents all wrong? I am betting NO! You have no idea! So, rather than trying to tell me how to walk in my own shoes, let me try and figure it out on my own. Because no matter what YOU have gone through, you will NEVER KNOW what I have to go through!
4. WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT?
(addendum to above) Do you have any idea what it is like to continuously hear from society and culture (and sometimes even from your own family & friends) that you are worthless, that you are an abomination, and not because of something you do, but because of who you are? Well, welcome to my shoes. So the next time you claim that I am pushing some kind of agenda, or that I have no right to feel depressed, or that I have no right to say that I want to KILL MYSELF, you had better walk at least a month in my shoes before such a claim is made! And speaking of KILLING MYSELF. I am not planning on doing it right now, and I know that there are those people who claim to be a friend, or who use to be a friend, who want to pain me as unstable. Maybe before you listen to them, you need to consider just how stable and truthful THEY ARE!
5. GOING POSTAL!
I wonder if there has ever been a situation where a minister has GONE POSTAL? Because if there has been, I think I know how that minister felt. Do you have any idea what it is like to feel ignored by the very being who created you? And then you are told by THOSE WHO CLAIM TO BE IN COMMUNICATION WITH THAT BEING, “it is because you are just so angry” YOU THINK? GEEZ, I WONDER WHY? If you want to help, try giving me a better answer than “BECAUSE YOU ARE SO ANGRY” or just shut up and say, “I DON’T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS EITHER” That, at least, is a little less cruel than the “angry” line! If God is so great (As I believe God is) then God can take away the anger, work around the anger, or slap me upside the head to get rid of the anger! And, that isn’t happening that I know of! So, you might want to “LIGHT A CANDLE” or “SAY A PRAY” that if God doesn’t want me to break and “go postal”, God had better clear the communication lines and start talking!
6. THIS IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG!
Do I have some more ranting to do? Yes, but frankly I am too tired, and too pissed off, and I am too far at my wit’s end to type any more. Do I want you to comment? HELL YES! But, please don’t get all psycho babble on me. And if you can peg yourself in the issues above, your first words of the comment had better be something in the form of “I’m sorry!” Because right now, I really don’t want to talk to those of you who I am tagging above unless you can throw me a bone and at least realize that however you reacted to me or around me, you have successfully pissed me off! Thank you and good night!
