20240420.0001 - RUMINATING ON GRIEF

As many of you may know, I lost my soulmate back in 2006 to a blood clot to their lung. As I noted to my dad about three days after Kate passed, “The pain from this grief is something so horrible that I do not wish even my worst enemy to experience, but the love I had for my soulmate that predates this pain is something that I wish upon the entire world!” It was about 3 years after Kate’s passing that I read the most profound statement. “Grief is the pain one experience of having such intense love for someone but nowhere for that love to go.” While I do realize that in my spiritual walk I will see Kate again one day, and that my love can be poured out to the Universe so that she can still feel it now, the physical feeling of not being able to tangibly hug, hold, and kiss is still near unbearable these eighteen years that have passed from that moment when I first expressed this to my dad.

So, the events of this past week have hit me rather hard and triggered me in a way that I did not expect. Rob Yost, a co-worker of mine at NAMI Kansas and one I considered a friend, also passed to the next experience from his life here on earth. While I did not know Rob to the depth that I knew my beloved Kate, I now look back on our togetherness as co-workers and friends and wish I knew more about his life. And this is not just a one and done deal. One of my loves and struggles is to learn history. I love it because it shares such unique experiences of times long past. I struggle with it because I discover pieces and slivers of people that I earnestly wish I could have met and befriended.

I recently read an excerpt on Harriet Tubman and realize the immense beauty that woman harbored. How sad it is to live a life now without knowing her as a close friend. Or to go back even further in history to the day and month of my birth but the year being 1706. How I long to have befriended my twin in a different century, Benjamin Franklin. Yes, what little I know of him I know he was quite quirky and strange at times, but yet so fascinating and ingenious. How could one NOT want to befriend him?

I could go on with so many others, but it still comes to the simple truth that these souls who I have missed in time and space have encouraged and empowered me in ways I may never fully comprehend. It is almost overwhelming for me to realize the immense tapestry that is this Universe past, present, and future and all who have, do and will occupy it with me have profound thoughts and truths to share and I may not discover them all in my lifetime.

So, where does this culminate? It all comes back to the very essence of the Divine – LOVE! Yes, my love for Kate was so amazing and mind-blowing that I could not even begin to explain it to completion, but that same love in its unique variance of friendship touches so many in my life that it is just as mind-blowing as my love for Kate. It is just a different flavor. I guess what I want to conclude with is that those of you who are reading this and consider yourself my friend in one way or another, please reach out to me, share with me yourself, your memories, your thoughts, your hopes and dreams, and in that sharing we both will be enriched to yet a greater degree than anyone can imagine. Be blessed, be loved, be graced in all that you do because just like me, you are a person of immense value and worth!

David E Larson

20230425.0004 - DEALING WITH TRAUMA PART 1 - GREAT CLIPS INDUCES TRAUMA

To whom it may concern,

I will NEVER go to a “Great Clips” as long as I live and I will actively work to discourage family, friends, colleagues, and the general public to stay away from, boycott, and refuse service from ANY AND ALL franchises of Great Clips. Below is the description of why!

I have a very good friend in Manhattan, Kansas who has enjoyed being a patron to the Great Clips located at 100 Bluemont Ave #A for many years. My friend takes their mental health VERY seriously, partly because of their current work environment which does what other organizations and businesses should have been doing all along – realizing that MENTAL HEALTH IS PHYSICAL HEALTH! Because of this earnestness to uplift one’s own mental health and to self-advocate for one’s own mental health, my friend felt they needed to have a haircut/hairstyle while they were attending a meeting with their therapist. Since their therapist’s location was closer to 840 Commons Pl, the therapist strongly encouraged my friend to go to the closer Great Clips instead of traveling across town, which my friend has come to trust their therapist and so followed that advice.

The end result was disastrous! Not only did the stylist butcher and destroy my friend’s hair (because they were not paying attention to directions from my friend, from what I understand), the stylist started to trim my friend’s eyebrows WITHOUT a request or consent to do so from my friend.

Let me take a pause here to explain a few points that apparently your stylists and franchise owners do not seem to be aware of. At least this particular stylist and the resulting franchise owner in Manhattan, Kansas doesn’t seem to understand. The bond of friendship and trust between one’s stylist and oneself is a very important bond. Anytime trust is placed into the hands of a stylist by a person, that stylist MUST work extra hard to maintain that trust and to build a stronger relationship with it. Any deviation from that trust and the vulnerability that has been offered by that person is equal to the actions of hatred and malice that is often found in our current aberrant society and culture. Furthermore, as much as our society and culture wish to “reclaim” the LEAVE-IT-TO-BEAVER modality and ignore the reality of today, we live in a society and culture where people have been abused, raped, sexually molested, and then treated as if they are to blame for the evil actions of their attacker. Such is the life that my friend has been subjected to. Among my friend’s list of traumas include physical, mental, and emotional abuses. And anyone who has participated in any trauma informed care would understand that this basic list of trauma affects and reacts to one’s psyche in numerous mental health struggles and issues. Such is the lived experience of my friend.

So, based on what has happened to my friend just from the careless acts of the stylist, it should be obvious to you, if you have any compassion or understanding of trauma, they have had deep wounds ripped open and they are now in a mental health crisis. But your stylist is not the only perpetrator in this reintroduction of trauma to my friend. The franchise owner has apparently banned my friend from using your services, including the stylist that they have always worked with and had built up trust with at the 100 Bluemont Ave #A location. A police officer has call my friend and noted that if they set foot into ANY Great Clips, they will be arrested for trespassing. Still further, the franchise owner has convicted my friend of extortion because they were earnestly trying to self-advocate by delivering a letter to the owner. A side note: the attendant claimed that the owner was out for the day repeatedly when my friend asked to see the owner so that they could hand deliver the letter directly to the owner. When my friend and their friend left the place, the attendant proceeded to read the letter intended for the owner ONLY to anyone and everyone at the salon. I am sure that with a franchise owner, attendants, and stylists like those I have described, you should be able to understand the continued trauma that they are forcing on unaware persons of society both who make the mistake of visiting the salon and those who experience the struggles of mental health in the real world.

This tells me that your franchise owner in Manhattan, Kansas does NOT want to recognize and realize the fact that trauma is real and rampant in our culture, they DO NOT CARE for their clientele, they are not willing to participate or work with anyone who has experience trauma – not even to host and attend any “Trauma Informed Care” seminars for their employees or themselves, and they only care about the green paper that they hope to fill their pockets with!

Since they only care about money, as I am sure you do as well, then it only seems right to actively boycott and undermine the Great Clips Company nationally. Maybe when you start seeing your profits and your clientele leave, you will realize that trauma is real, that people today deal with this horror every moment of their lives, and that such a careless business as yours has no place in our world today. And, this is NOT extortion. This is simply a promise because no amount of money, no "free coupons:, no fake acts of kindness or concern can heal the trauma already inflicted on my friend!

May you have the day and life that you deserve and that you have dumped onto others! In other words, may Karma haunt you for the rest of your existence!

20221208.0003 AN OPEN LETTER TO MY COUNTRY!

To whom is may concern, my family, my friends, and my country, 

So, I am a very lucky man. I am currently sitting in a very comfortable recliner at an infusion center to receive iron infusions because I am apparentmlly anemic. I have had quite a journey getting here. I have had multiple health issues arise, I got to start seeing a Dr in September of 2021, because I finally became full time with the non-profit I work for. And because of the various medical issues that have arisen, the Dr's visits, the hospitalizations, the medication, my medical bills are in excess of $1000.00, but I  can afford that. I have a good job, a good home, friends, family, and food and so I am being blessed by the creator of the universe. But this letter is not about my medical ills or woes, ... well, not exactly. 

You see, I was listening to that < sarcasm switch on > horribly liberal < sarcasm switch off > radio station NPR on the way to my infusion and they were interviewing an EMT who had been dealing with mental health issues and burnout because of the work he had been doing during the pandemic. Well, this broadcast touched my heart because the non-profit I work for is a mental health non-profit! 

The man being interviewed have a rather graphic description of his struggle with suicide and how far he had gone in the action. The interviewer asked if hospitalization would have helped? And the man said for him it may have, but the countless others who are battling mental health issues, suicidality, low wages or no wages, housing instability or homelessness, lack of health-care, lack of food security, lack of ALL of those items that fulfill Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, those people it won't help because THEY NEED MORE! (Please note that is my paraphrase of what he said) At any rate, it got me thinking and this is the result, and the purpose behind this open letter to everyone! 

I realize that there are those politicians and political figures who will scream at me for what I am about to write. FINE! GO AHEAD! I AM READY FOR IT! But I have some words for you and ALL OF THOSE WHO SIDE WITH YOU! And here they are! 

I have been homeless, I  have been jobless, I have been without insurance, I have been without anything and I am thoroughly blessed now, so I know a thing or two. I know what will help "those" people, the people who are the lost ones, the people the EMT talked about and in turn all of us in this great nation of ours. We need to offer help at the federal level in the form of food security, medical security and help, mental health security and support, housing security, livable wages, universal health-care, I think you get the picture, right? AND HERE ARE THE WORDS FOR THOSE WHO SCREAM WE CAN'T DO THIS, WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY, WE DON'T HAVE THE RESOURCES! THE SIMPLE ANSWER IS YES WE DO. THE MONEY IS IN THE POCKETS OF ALL OF YOU, THE POLITICIANS WHO HAVE MILKED THE PUBLIC, ALL OF THE CORPORATE ROBBER BARONS, THE INSURANCE CEO'S, THOSE BEING PAID HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS AND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS, THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN WALKING ON THE BACKS OF THOSE WHO STRUGGLE TO BREATHE, THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN TURNING AWAY FROM THEIR BROTHERS AND SISTERS DYING FROM THE LACK OF LIFE SUSTAINING RESOURCES! YOU AND THOSE WHO SIDE WITH YOU ARE KILLING THOSE WHO HAVE LOST ALL HOPE TO LIVE. YOU HAVE BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS! YOU BATHE IN THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENTS, YOU ARE TO BLAME! 

If you want to know how to solve most if not all of the problems currently facing our country, it comes down to the people who are hoarding money and those supporting and following them into the political arena to claim with false purity and lies that "we don't have the funds!"

If you want to know some Christian Scripture that supports all of this, I suggest you look into the writings from the Prophet Amos! 

Amos 2:1-8 "Thus saith the Lord; For three transgressions of Judah, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment thereof; because they have despised the law of the Lord , and have not kept his commandments, and their lies caused them to err, after the which their fathers have walked:but I will send a fire upon Judah, and it shall devour the palaces of Jerusalem.Thus saith the Lord; For three transgressions of Israel, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment thereof; because they sold the righteous for silver, and the poor for a pair of shoes;that pant after the dust of the earth on the head of the poor, and turn aside the way of the meek: and a man and his father will go in unto the same maid, to profane my holy name:and they lay themselves down upon clothes laid to pledge by every altar, and they drink the wine of the condemned in the house of their god."  http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Amos2:4-8&version=AKJV

And also, Amos 4:1-8, "Hear this word, ye kine of Bashan, that are in the mountain of Samaria, which oppress the poor, which crush the needy, which say to their masters, Bring, and let us drink.The Lord God hath sworn by his holiness, that, lo, the days shall come upon you, that he will take you away with hooks, and your posterity with fishhooks.And ye shall go out at the breaches, every cow at that which is before her; and ye shall cast them into the palace, saith the Lord.Come to Beth-el, and transgress; at Gilgal multiply transgression; and bring your sacrifices every morning, and your tithes after three years:and offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving with leaven, and proclaim and publish the free offerings: for this liketh you, O ye children of Israel, saith the Lord God.And I also have given you cleanness of teeth in all your cities, and want of bread in all your places: yet have ye not returned unto me, saith the Lord.And also I have withholden the rain from you, when there were yet three months to the harvest: and I caused it to rain upon one city, and caused it not to rain upon another city: one piece was rained upon, and the piece whereupon it rained not withered.So two or three cities wandered unto one city, to drink water; but they were not satisfied: yet have ye not returned unto me, saith the Lord." http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Amos4:1-8&version=AKJV

YOU WANT TO CLAIM YOUR HOLINESS? YOU WANT TO CLAIM YOUR RIGHTEOUSNESS?  YOU WANT TO CLAIM YOUR PURITY? THEN TAKE ACTION, EMPTY YOUR POCKETS, AND MAKE A CHANGE! 

- ENOUGH SAID!

BEING SOCIAL ON MEDIA - 20221120

So, I am here at the laundromat doing laundry. I scanned FaceBook (or as some of my friends are calling it "Fascist Book," I scanned Instagram, haven't looked at Twitter or TikTok yet, but I will eventually. But, I am posting because I haven't done so in quite some time and because of a discussion I had when I  was volunteering at the Alternative Gift Market on Novrmbet 12th.

As I sat at my table sharing with people who walked by about the charity that the craft group had chosen to support, I struck up a conversation with the two teen seniors on my right. I asked about what their plans were for their future and other small talk points. But then I asked, "what social media platform do you find you spend the most time on?" I discovered a lot in the answers they gave.  They didn't really mention Face Book at all, they didn't like Twitter for the same reason Iam questioning its usefulness - namely the new "owner!" And they find they spend a majority of their time on TikTok.

I will admit that I do enjoy my TikTok account. I  don't have that many videos up, but I do have some dueted videos that I think are important and I am proud of. By the way,  my TikTok handle is @davidelarson if you want to go hunting for me. 

And while I am passing this media connection, here are a few more: 

YOUTUBE:  @TYEDYEGYE1

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tyedyegye

Instagram: delarson67217

Twitter deleting it as of the posting of this BLOG 

Tribel: http://tribel.app.link/okwPIHYCIqb. 

(David Larson)

So, these are all connections to various social media, but the question I have is, "Are we really social when we are on these platforms?" What I mean by this is, are we acting social and civil when we post and when we comment? I try, but I will confess that I fail at times. I am deleting Twitter for various reasons, but one reason is clear. With a certain ex-president coming back (because the "new" owner wants him back) there will be more of his ranting and raving and more of his ilk ranging and raving. This leads to those of opposing views ranting and raving and I know for myself, that isn't healthy (mental health wise!) I also struggle with that of Facebook, both because I have certain views that I feel are moral battlefields, and I have certain friends that tend toward the contrary of those views. I  don't want to offend them and I  don't want to give them a chance to offend me. 

This doesn't mean that I don't debate anything, but I have learned, at least somewhat, that everyone should pick which battles they are going to fight in their life, and which battles they will turn their back on and walk away. 

So, all of this leads me to ask a few other questions for my readers (and myself).

- What boundaries have you set for yourselves in dealing with social media? 

- What are your battlefields? 

- How successful are you in maintaining your boundaries? 

- What are the cues that help you realize you have either crossed those boundaries or you need to move or strengthen those boundaries? 

- Finally, what topics are your hardened mores? (I.E. abortion, religion, politics, love, compassion, etc)

There are many more questions one can ask and struggle with concerning this topic. So one final bonus question is, what would you ask of me, if you were in my shoes? With that, I will end this long overdue BLOG POST. Be blessed and take care! 

- David E Larson

20220320.0001 - WHAT HAVE I BEEN UP TO?

 Hello Bloggees (Blog Readers),

So, if you look back through my past blog posts, you will see that there has been an enormous gap between now and the last blog post I made (20200607.0004 - ON THE ROAD TO BEING ANTIRACIST). What have I been doing for the past (almost) two years? Well, let me look back and see what I can tell you.

In 2020 the world saw the rise of the Corona Virus Pandemic. It actually started back in 2019 (Hence why it is called COVID-19). But it didn’t really hit Kansas until about March or April in 2020. I was also moving at the time, dealing with what was diagnosed as the flu (the Dr I went to see did the test and said it was the flu), and just trying to do my part time job for a local mental health non-profit. Basically, the majority of 2020 was just spent in lockdown and trying to make sense of the world in the throws of the pandemic. There was a toilet paper shortage (Yes! This was so strange. People were actually hoarding toilet paper.), there was a shortage of face masks, there was a shortage of hand sanitizer and hand soap. And we began learning a new way to get food and such (Uber Eats, Door Dash, etc.). I moved in with Michelle and Patrick and worked at trying to help be a caregiver to Michelle who was slowly going downhill. We were quite happy when 2020 ended and we ushered in 2021.

We assumed, of course, that nothing could be as bad as 2020. Well, assumptions were made, and they were wrong! 2021 was more of the same. Although, we had a new President (Thank the Heavens)! President Joe Biden had to battle the pandemic, a divided country, and a previous president that has continued to this day to claim that he “was cheated out of the election!” And almost half of the country (74 million I believe was the group that voted for Cheeto face) that has also continued to this day to claim voter fraud and other lies and nonsense. At any rate, we slogged and stumbled through 2021 trying to make sense of it all. Some of us were getting vaccines for the COVID-19 virus while others were actually calling the virus a hoax, claiming they couldn’t breathe with face masks, and some even claimed that the vaccine would make you magnetic and somehow make you connected to the cellular telephone 5-G system. (Really! I can’t make this stuff up! This is really what some people thought!)  By the way, the major cellular telephone providers were rolling out their 5-G systems at this time so, along with the pandemic, various everyday struggles and the like, we got to have faster cell phones! LOL! Also, during 2021 in May, I went from being employed by the local mental health non-profit, to being employed by the state mental health non-profit. And in June I went full time! This help with much needed funds. Again, thank the Heavens. I also became sort of a guru (a title I accept blushingly) with the Zoom meetings for the local mental health non-profit’s support groups. Yes, although I moved to the state level (virtually), I still volunteer locally. So, other than these highlights 2021 was more of the same – learning how to survive a pandemic, learning how to manage a little more money in the bank account, and still learning where to order food from on Door Dash so that they don’t mess up the order (we are still struggling with this one in 2022). One sad note to make about 2021 was the month of September and the day was the 19^th. That was the day that I received word that one of my all-time best friends died. Michelle O’Hara you were loved, you were a special blessing, you were an amazing confidant and friend, you are and will always be missed. In a lot of ways, you took the place in my heart that was left vacant when Kate left me. Now I am faced with discovering new friends to fill that void and somehow make my life bearable.

So, New Years Eve and New Years day of 2022 and we were just hoping and praying that it wasn’t going to be more of the same. Here we are in March of 2022 and time is going by far too fast. I have become addicted (somewhat) to Twitter. I am actually enjoying it, especially since I don’t have to hear (that much) about Cheeto face. I keep busy not only with full time work, but also with still doing volunteer work as well as extra trainings that I host since I have become a state trainer. What will the rest of 2022 hold for us all? Good question! We are currently facing the possibility of World War 3 (between Russian invading Ukraine and Ukraine seeking USA aid and Russia claim to fire nuclear missiles) and we are seeing the mask mandates easing due to more and more people being vaccinated, (the vaccine doesn’t prevent one from contracting the COVID-19 virus, but it does make it more bearable if you should get it.) COVID-19 is still mutating so that means we are struggling with the possibility of more or different vaccines. There are so many people who still don’t have the vaccine or can’t get the vaccine because of immunodeficiency reasons. Well, I can see that I have filled more than two pages (on MS Word) of this blog post, so I better draw it to a close. I hope, as I always do, of writing more blog posts, but life has a way of getting away from me, so we will see. Until next time, BE BLESSED!!!            

20200607.0004 - ON THE ROAD TO BEING ANTIRACIST

It should be no surprise to those who follow my scribblings that I am going to talk about current events and how those events are affecting me. I have watched videos of people being hurt and abused by police, I have watched people protesting peaceably and called evil by those who are “offended” by what they have to say. I have watched protesters link arms to protect a lone police officer.  I have seen police officers lay down their riot gear to take a knee with the protesters as they exist as one united human race. So I have seen the total gambit of what is going on. I have watched others who claim, “I’m not racist because I have black friends, …” and then in the next breath say “… but …” and spew something that seems so very racist that I am embarrassed for them. I, myself, have made the claim numerous times that “I’m not racist” until I began confronting my own internal racism and realized I am very much racist. And so that brings me to today. In reading an excellent article and seeking out the book by Ibram X. Kendi who wrote How to be an Antiracist I have come to terms with what I need to do. First off, a side note, the article that I will be quoting from is “6 ways to be antiracist, because being 'not racist' isn't enough.” (https://mashable.com/article/how-to-be-antiracist/) I will not quote the whole article to you, and in fact, if you want to ignore this blog post and go read the article I wouldn’t fault you one bit. I will just note here what I need to do to actively become antiracist.

But it doesn’t start with the article and the book, it starts with the countless people who I have watched who say “I am ANTIRACIST!” One recent Instagram and Youtube Celebrity going by the name of Max Emmerson (https://www.youtube.com/user/TheMaxVicious) made a profound plea on one of his videos to be antiracist. That was a proverbial first step of a million miles and so I started my journey.

I do strongly urge you to read the article for yourself (and maybe even the book) so I will simply sum up what I need to do and if there is anything that I am doing. The first note is to be clear about what racism is. Merriam-Webster states, “Racism is a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race” (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/racism) Ok. Easy enough right? Nope! Because racism is continually being defined and redefined based on whoever is speaking.

Hence, why we need to stop claiming that we are not racists! Because even the racists are claiming that. This point number two! Realize that we all take part in racism and so we need to be continually learning to be antiracist!

So that leads to point number three. Racism is systemic. This means racism is ingrained in the various systems of life whether that be financial, housing, or even education. This is going to take some learning on my part because I didn’t realize all of the systems that racism is woven through. But I am going to make a strong effort to learn.

Leading to point number four. I need to confront the racist ideas that I have held for so long.  Some of those include even the ones that I have held about myself and I am white. Those ideas may range from certain people who don’t work hard enough, to certain others that just stole to get ahead.

Point five deals with understanding, “… how your antiracism needs to be intersectional.” What this means is that there are all sorts of subgroups that also are faced with bigotry within the various main groups that face racism. For instance, If I am bigoted toward women, then my racism against one ethnicity will also be colored by my bigotry.

And the sixth point is to actively champion antiracist ideas and policies! This means exactly what it sounds like. Work to get rid of the systems that are supporting systemic racism! See point number 3 for clues on where to go for this.

And a bonus point that I forgot to mention at the beginning. Becoming antiracist is a process. It means that I need to continue to work and work and work! Now, this blog post is already too long so I will end with this. I am going to work on this process and I would hope that others will guide me in the needed actions to better myself and become antiracist.  With that I say, blessings always!

n  David L.   

20200516.0003 SO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I THINK?

So, I recently received a phone call from my daughter. It seems that her ex has filed for custody of my middle granddaughter. And they choose to use my words to show that the living arranged with my daughter is unsuitable. Well, since you want to know what I really think let me tell you. My daughter is the only sane person capable of raising my granddaughters and her household is 10,000,000 time better than that is her ex's. Why? Because her ex happens to be married to H@&$! And H@&$ is more screwed up that I am. H@&$ is the worst excuse for a mother there ever was. She doesn't want the children around her, she screams at them all the time, and she is mentally unstable! So, you want to use my words, there are some words for you to use! If you take my previous words as gospel truth then you have to take the above words as gospel truth as well! Some people should not be parents. And that is true of the wife of the ex! Now, my daughter is one of the best mothers there ever was! I believe she does and continues to do wonderful work with the grandchildren. So, if you think these words are in error then you must assume all my words are in error! You decide! I know the truth!